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LESSONS FROM THE RUNWAY

If there's one thing Project Runway has taught us, it's that one size or style does not fit all. I trust you. And I know you can make the decisions that fit you—your physical and emotional development.

To help you do that, I'm giving you all the facts, in a straight-as-an-arrow way, about pretty much everything your body will encounter through your teens and early twenties. In Section One you'll read about what to expect from your body in puberty—how to deal with period problems, infections, injuries, and hormonal issues. You'll also learn how to care for your breasts and bones for the rest of your life. In Section Two I'll give you the latest research and thinking on sex—what it means medically for your body, brain, and emotional health when you decide to hook up or have sex at early and later ages. I'll also explain the very strong medical evidence suggesting you should wait until at least eighteen for sex. Meanwhile, I'll tell you exactly how to protect and take care of yourself whenever you do make your decision about becoming sexually active. Finally, in Section Three, I'll tell you how to build a body that will last for the rest of your life—through healthy eating, risk control, exercise, and learning to handle mood problems.

To sum it all up, I'm basically offering you a free virtual visit to my office. I can't meet you and show you around like my actual patients. But I do want to welcome you to your new body and teach you everything you need to know to take care of it, love it, and enjoy it. I want you to own your body, because only you can care for it.

WANT A LATTE?

"Care for a chai? Some herbal tea? A latte?" my receptionist asks new patients when they arrive. They find her sitting at her glass desk in front of a curved wooden wall in the reception area of my office.

The beverage menu and the reception area are usually a surprise for new patients like Casey. "It looks like a spa," Casey told me. There's no big white counter or glass window to check in at. No ugly institutional gray carpet. Everything's done in cream, chocolate, and pale blue, with splashy red end tables and softly glowing wall sconces instead of the usual harsh office lights.

If you were a new patient, my receptionist would serve you your beverage of choice and snap a digital photo for your record—I like to "see" my patients when I'm reviewing their records or talking to them on the phone. Then, beverage in hand, you and, if you wanted, your parents would be escorted to my office, where you'd find fresh flowers on my desk. Later, if you needed an exam, you could slip into a comfy spa robe (not one of those flimsy paper or polyester gowns) in the exam room and watch TV on a plasma screen, check your e-mail on a Mac, or make calls while waiting for me. And by the way, did I mention that everything's eco-friendly? I want to respect the planet, too.

The robes and the TV may all sound a bit much. It's not that I'm all New-Agey or that I'm trying to be some kind of Beverly Hills doctor to the stars. The truth is, it was just really fun dreaming up an office my patients would like. I mean, nobody rolls out the red carpet for teen girls, treating them like young women who deserve to be pampered and cared for. Only later, after we'd designed the new office and opened for business, did I realize just how much all the little details would mean to my patients. The details practically shout "I care about you. I want you to have a nice experience here. I want everything you see, hear, and touch while you're here to be respectful, soothing, caring." After all, you have enough stress in your life. I should be helping ease it, not making it worse.

DOCTORS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

OK, so not every doctor's office is going to offer you a latte. I'm not telling you to pick your doctor based on her taste in end tables. But I do want you to find a doctor who makes you feel respected, well cared for, and, yes, maybe even a little pampered.

That's especially important these days, now that girls are seeing gynecologists at a younger age. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists—the huge national association that looks at data and makes recommendations for doctors like me—says that you should start seeing a gynecologist in your early teens, specifically between ages thirteen and fifteen. That's a surprise to most parents—especially moms, who probably didn't see a gynecologist until their senior year of high school or later.

If you're between thirteen and fifteen and haven't seen a gynecologist, you should (see the box on pages 13–15 on how to talk your parents into it). At the very least you need to see a gynecologist before you start having sex, so you understand all the medical consequences of your choices. For a lot of medical reasons I'll explain later, I think it's a really good idea for you to wait until you're at least eighteen to have sex. But if you decide to become active before that, it's my job to help you handle it in a smart way.

PRIVATES PRACTICE: MORE THAN JUST VAGINAS

Before they meet me, most of my patients think they're coming to see a "vagina doctor." But actually, "gynecologist" means the study of women—in my case, young women in particular. It's my job to be familiar with every health issue that might affect you as a member of the female sex. Sure, I can tell you if that funny bump or itch down there is something to worry about. (And, by the way, I don't want you ever to be embarrassed to bring stuff like that up. I have the same parts as you, and I do this all day long. To me examining a vagina is like examining an ear or nose—no big deal.) But I can also help you learn how to take care of your breasts, your bones, your weight, and your mental state—not to mention treating period problems and hormonal imbalances. My job as a gynecologist specializing in young women is to take care of the whole package and help you understand this new body you got when you reached puberty. Isn't that cool? I love my job.

It makes me sad that many girls never get to see a gynecologist until they're leaving for college—that's like studying for the SATs after you've taken the test. It's so much better to learn everything you need to know in your early teens, before you start running into the challenges you'll face later. Plus, a gynecologist like me probably will be the one doctor you see more of than any other medical profession later in life. The sooner you find someone you trust and can confide in, the better.

DR. ASHTON'S PLAYLISTS

Over the years I've found myself repeating the same things Over… and over… and over… to all my patients. These are things I really want them to remember, so I say them again and again. Sort of my personal playlist of advice. I've gathered up these lists and put them in boxes throughout the book, stressing the things I really want you to remember. Forgive me if I repeat information you've already heard, but these really are my greatest hits. Here are a few I share with my new patients:

• A new kind of teen needs a new kind of doctor.
• I respect my patients and care about their experiences—both in their lives and in my office.
• I don't take sides: I give my patients all the information so they (and their parents) can make good decisions. It's not my job to make choices for you.

TRUE OR FALSE?

You should go see a gynecologist for the first time when you're between ages thirteen and fifteen.

TRUE.

You need both a pediatrician and a gynecologist when you're in junior high and high school.

TRUE.

You always need a pelvic exam when you go to the gynecologist.

FALSE. You don't usually need a pelvic exam unless you're sexually active.

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