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OUR LADY OF LUMINOUS LAUGHTER'S TOP TEN TIPS GUARANTEED TO ACTIVATE YOUR HUMOR GENE

1. Look for the everyday humor. There are all kinds of absurd, silly things going on around you all day long. A friend recently reported seeing a sign outside a local church: "Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help." (Come on—that's funny, and it was right there in front of her!)
2. Invest in a joke book. Weave one–liners into your conversation. "I'm not gaining weight; I'm retaining food!"
3. Get yourself a funny friend or two. Or better yet, do as my husband did (lucky man) and find yourself a funny partner.
4. Trade in coffee breaks (or cigarette breaks for sure) for humor breaks. Tell your boss that in lieu of smoking, you're cultivating your funny side and will henceforth be taking a humor break twice daily. I'm sure he or she will find that very amusing!
5. New rule: If you hear it—write it. If someone says something funny, write it down.
   You can use it later on someone else!

6. Put a Post–It on your refrigerator, your computer, and your bathroom mirror. "Have fun." It may take a few weeks before it becomes a habit.

7. No late–night sadness.Do not under any circumstances watch the news or read the newspaper or partake in anything that makes you feel sad or unhappy late at night. It's a sure buzz kill. Sweet dreams require sweet thoughts.

8. Fake It Till You Make It. Smile and laugh even if you're feeling miserable. Your brain will pick up on the smile cue and feel better.

9. Play the HA Game. There are two ways to play the HA game. You need at least five people, but fifteen is better.

   Here's how you play! All players sit on the floor in a circle. The first person starts the game by looking into the eyes of the person to the left of him/her and saying "ha." That person, in turn, says "ha, ha" to the person to his/her left, and it continues on like this, adding a "ha" with each person.

   The trick is that you have to do it without laughing or smiling and you must maintain eye contact. And if you make it through one round, you just go on to the next round. It's difficult enough not to laugh, much less keep track of how many "has" you are up to! The last person remaining wins!

   Want more intimacy? The more intimate way of playing HA is to have the first player lie on the floor on his or her back. The next person lies perpendicular to him or her with his or her head on the first person's stomach. And so on and so on until you have a chain of people lying on the floor. Then the game is pretty much the same, except you are just playing for the Has—the belly laughs from having your head jump up and down. You can't help but create a chain of people cracking up. (No eye contact necessary.)

10. Hey U.G.L.Y. (Unique Gifted Lovable You), a not–for–profit organization dedicated to building teenagers' self–esteem, has a laughter CD for sale on its Web site. It's a steal and a scream. Caution: For starters, listen for one minute, then build to a total of ten minutes per day. Wouldn't want you to laugh too much! Visit www.heyugly.org.

SVELTE TALK

LAUGHTERCIZING—a new way to happily exercise from Hey U.G.LY., guaranteed to tone and burn calories.

 
UGLY—Unique Gifted Lovable You (whether you are a teenager or not)nothing unpretty about you!

 
HUMOR GENE—Believe it or not, something we are all born with. Uncover it, cultivate it, use it, enjoy it or lose it!

 
* NEW POINT OF VIEW

I approach Permanent Fat Removal with a chuckle, laugh, or smile. I am feeding myself and filling up on laughter. *

 
FORGIVENESS: A KEY INGREDIENT TO PERMANENT FAT REMOVAL

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."—Lewis B. Smedes

 
FORGIVENESS IS A KEY INGREDIENT TO PERMANENT FAT REMOVAL

Many of us have been known to scoff down one piece of cake, beat ourselves up, feel rotten to the core, and then have another slice of the devil's food to soothe. Our fat cells multiply—our pants tighten—we feel even worse—yet we indulge in still another serving of forbidden food, followed by the inevitable platterful of punishment. Results? Broken zippers; broken dreams. (I confess! My zipper broke on my first date with my husband.)

In terms of Permanent Fat Removal, holding a grudge against ourselves—being unforgiving for what we perceive to be horrific dietary crimes and misdemeanors—can only impede our progress. There is absolutely no point in unleashing mammoth–sized portions of anger or the relentlessly chastising inner voice upon ourselves.

Confess your dietary sins, forgive yourself, and move on. Remember that one slice of cake does not a fat person make. Get back on the wagon NOW... laughing and smiling, if you please!

Here is a forgivercize that will help you to accept yourself with all your wondrous imperfections, as well as lighten your load.

 
FORGIVERCIZE

Do the Potato

I'd read about a teacher who asked her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to class. For every person the students refused to forgive, they were to write the person's name and the date of the upset on a potato and put it in their plastic bag. The moral of the story was that they were lugging around some pretty hefty amounts of anger that were clogging their spiritual development.

This got me to thinking. Not only am I carrying around a lot of anger at all those other people in my life who clearly haven't read the script I've written for them, but I'm also cartin' around barrelfuls of upset and anger at myself—for my dietary transgressions, lack of exercise, occasional snappishness toward my loved ones, and who knows what else.

Imagine if I dropped a potato in my proverbial plastic bag every time I was upset with myself and dragged it around with me, all day and into the night. Whoa! That's some heavy–duty, weighty bag that is robbing me of my energy, focus, and determination.

Rather than buy bushels of potatoes, I went to the supermarket and bought the biggest baking potato I could find. I baked it, and when it was done, I opened it up and wrote "Sorry" with green peas. I shared it with my husband. He wasn't sure what I was sorry for, but he was appreciative of my creative cooking.

 
SVELTE TALK

FORGIVENESS — A key ingredient to Permanent Fat Removal. You can give yourself absolution or pray to Our Lady of Weight Loss for clemency. Whatever you do, learn from your past and let yourself off the hook now.

* NEW POINT OF VIEW

I do not let one "dietary transgression" take me on a ten-year detour! All is forgiven, move on. *

 

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