What is the E = mc2 of Psychology? by Paul Dobransky

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Anybody and everybody has heard of the equation, E = mc2. Generally we all know that it is Einstein's discovery, and some of us might even know that it is a core revolutionary equation from physics. A handful may even know that it was the key to the ability to harness nuclear power. Whatever our level of sophistication, we know that it is a simple equation for something very profound about the physical world.

The basic truth about E = mc2 is that it was the first time that scientists were able to literally show that matter (the stuff we can hold in our hands) contains and is made of ENERGY (the invisible stuff that runs everything in the world.)

Isn't it incredible that all the conveniences and even life-saving tools in our lives run on energy: electric power, light, heat, and even the nuclear power that can both defend us in our armaments, or heat our homes by being transformed into other "kinds" of energy, like electricity?

E = mc2 is about the invisible energy of the physical world.

The mindOS system of psychology (www.doctorpaul.net for MEN and www.womenshappiness.com for WOMEN) I developed over ten years ago makes the invisible world of psychology, literally visible through hundreds of DIAGRAMS.

Have you ever stopped to think about HUMAN ENERGY, though? When we are stressed, we often feel "drained," and when we are depressed or even a little "down," we sense that there is less energy in us to get the things of life done.

If you were to scan all of psychology and psychiatry literature of the past hundred years, you would find something utterly remarkable. Human beings are made of "matter" and we are no exception to the rule that all physical material contains energy - an invisible, colorless, odorless stuff that "makes things go" and can do work. You might say that we are run by "chemical energy" because it takes our metabolism of food to generate the chemicals we need in the physiology of our bodies.

Many years ago I noticed something about my patients. Those who were the most chronically depressed or anxious also across the board, could be described as being of chronic "low self-esteem."

At the same time, I have never seen a patient in many thousands of people, who if they had a pretty durable "high self esteem," had ever gotten very depressed or anxious for very long.

This seemed vaguely important to me to take note at the time, but it would take many years of studying the easy writing style of many self-help authors to be able to put what I was observing into words.

Just like in most of psychology, we use common terms in everyday language - like "self-esteem" and "stress" - that don't carry much practical application to them in everyday life.

If I tell you that you are stressed and need to de-stress, would you know exactly what to do and be assured that it would indeed lower your stress? You might take a vacation or get a massage, but you might also return to me to tell me they didn't work to get rid of the stress.

If you tell me that you have low "self-esteem" and you want to know how to fix it, is there an easy, recipe-like right answer to advise you? Go get a haircut, diet, eat right, and exercise? Or the more common advice, "Well, just go HAVE better self-esteem! Or go 'act as-if' you have better self-esteem!"

This type of advice has always irked me as being not very useful or precise, and it has generally irked the public too. It is the cause of much of the stigma against the mental health professions as being "touchy-feely," "woo-woo," "mystical," and the like. It might even be the reason that mental health patients have had such an extraordinary difficulty in obtaining what is called "parity" - an equal consideration under the law (and with HMOs) to have their biological mental health difficulties considered on par in importance and validity as physical disorders like high blood pressure and diabetes.

So over all these years that I have been developing the mindOS system of teaching and applying psychology, I have noticed that the self-help field in general has been GREAT at making psychology concepts simple for people, but at the same time, often loses the VALIDITY and PRACTICAL APPLICATION potential for psychological teachings.

Scientists tend to make the workings of our minds sound very complex, and that lowers the usefulness to the public of getting things like their self-esteem improved, and Self-help tends to make the workings of our minds so oversimplified that it ALSO lowers the usefulness of the ideas to the public.

What are we to do?

We need to SYNTHESIZE material together to make new, elegant models - which BOTH simplify the complex, but ALSO keep the practicality for people.

Back to my patients...

If those with chronic low self esteem are also plagued by depression and anxiety, and those with durable high self-esteem are also somewhat immune to depression and anxiety, then doesn't this say something about a link between the vague, common expression, "self-esteem" and the quality, condition, and treatments of our mood problems?

I think it does.

By synthesizing together elements of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy with tenets of Self Psychology and Psychodynamics (fancy words, I know) I have derived a method of viewing the word "self-esteem" as a precise variable by which we can not only measure our moods, but put what we know of ourselfs into a PRACTICAL set of actions to take which really do make corrections in our moods and overall mental health.

In short, SELF ESTEEM IS THE "ENERGY" ON WHICH OUR MINDS RUN.

We have already said that our bodies and physiology run on the type of physical energy called "chemical energy," but what of the mind itself? I am convinced that the "mind" runs on two sub-types of chemical energy that combined, can be properly called "self esteem" in the popular use of the word.

This way we keep things simple but also practical.

In the world of physics, the equation, E = mc2, tells us that we can take the vague notion of energy and actually HARNESS it. This is because doing any work in the work requires us to have tools, systems, and processes of directing energy to rewarding ends. Think of a car engine or even a nuclear reactor. Without the material equipment to house, control, transform, or move the energy from one form, to the other form of mechanical work, the energy is confusing to us at best, and useless at worst.

We can do the very same thing with the psychological energy that runs our minds, the energy of self-esteem.

I propose an original equation to you that explains it all simply, yet also gives you exact things to do to make USE of your Self-esteem - to be capable of diagnosing problems with it and take corrective steps to fix it. No "woo-woo" mysticism here, because the parts needed to synthesize this method come right out of all the known theories of psychology and their supporting research literature to date.

The "E = mc2" of psychology is:

SELF-ESTEEM = WELL-BEING + CONFIDENCE

Three words that we use in everyday speech, and yet a relationship among them that has profound implications for us all.

WELL-BEING is a type of mental energy that arises when we feel nurtured, full, and all our needs are met. When we have an abundance of it, we are also able to nurture, or "mother" others. We sense that we "have enough..." whether that be enough money, enough love, enough free time, enough friends...whatever there is "enough of" gives us a sense of well-being.

When we do not have "enough" of our needs met, we feel angry or depressed. I give you every detail needed and taught among several theories over the last six to eight decades in one simple model - the Anger Map. (see www.angermap.com) This map is part of my original patent-pending material, and is explained in a very practical way in the new book, The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love. With it, you can genuinely, precisely build the "Well-being" part of your own self-esteem, and feel solid again on that count.

While there may eventually be a chemical link made between Serotonin and the chemical energy form that I am labelling as "Well-being," we are not quite there yet. It's a possibility.

Yet, if you think about what self esteem really is as compared to just "well-being," you notice something. Many people have all their needs met - they are wealthy, well-loved, have free time, and are never want for material things. And still may feel not truly happy. "Money can't buy happiness" they say.

I agree. That is because the "happiness" we feel when we have high general self esteem needs more than just a feeling of having our needs met, more than just a feeling of being mothered. Many with wealth may not feel that they have the ability to protect their wealth, that they lack the social skills to be outgoing and freely enjoy their wealth. They may have impaired marriages and relationships.

And this is because we also need CONFIDENCE in order to have a complete self-esteem.

Confidence is a psychological energy of action, the gasoline of the mind. It is a sense that we can withstand risk, change, loss or uncertainty. You might even say it is a kind of "fatherly" energy - one that is not gender-specific, but rather gives us a sense that we are protected, potent, powerful, and can get things done when we are unsure of the result.

CONFIDENCE is the antidote to anxiety in the same way that WELL-BEING is the antidote to depression and its alter-ego, anger.

When we are anxious, we lack confidence, and when we are hit by an anxiety-provoking stress, we LOSE confidence.

Confidence itself does not compose all there is to self-esteem, because there are many very confident people who sense they can gt away with anything, even to criminal degrees (ever hear of the word "con-man," short for "confidence-man?") - where we see very brazen, confident young men in street gangs, or in fundamentalist suicide bombers, who nonetheless are still lacking in overall self-esteem.

What they lack, is the motherly energy of Well-being, a sense that their needs are met and they don't have to go hungry anymore.

(Incidentally I have never heard of a wealthy, well-loved, relaxed, fulfilled person full of well-being, who ever joined a street gang or fundamentalist terrorist organization on the front lines. Even those who have financial wealth are missing something nurturing inside.)

Someday in some way, there might be a connection to the chemical energy effects of GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) as a neurotransmitter mediating one's sense of "confidence." We already know that agents such as valium and alcohol affect this chemical. Ever hear of beer as "liquid confidence" or "liquid courage?" Many a college fraternity can attest.

In my original patent-pending design of an Anxiety Map (see www.anxietymap.com) I lay out precise steps that one does to achieve confidence, as if by a recipe. Elements of self psychology, behavioral therapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy, object relations, and even jungian psychology go into the synthesis that makes this simplicity POSSIBLE. And then I gave you instructions on its use in The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love.

So if there were a scientific equation, one that could be relied upon for all people, in all cultures, through all time, it would be this one - that precisely equal measures of well-being and confidence are needed by our minds in order to feel of high, durable self-esteem, and therefore of stable happiness.

SELF-ESTEEM = WELL-BEING + CONFIDENCE

That is an equation that can be counted on each and every time you use it - to turn the energy of the mind into real and practical improvement of your life. It's all in the book.

So very many couples I have seen are faltering in their relationship or marriage because they don't see the invisible destruction that depression, anxiety, and generally, LOW SELF ESTEEM, is doing to them. It is literally killing the FRIENDSHIP part of their romance.

When it comes to relationships, dating and marriage, we cannot do without self-esteem. It is the very cause of Emotional Attraction with others, and is the very meaning of what it is to have FRIENDSHIP within our romances, our families and our communities.

Now you have a practical, easy, ever-reliable tool for building that core element of a successful relationship.

Thanks for tuning in.

If you want nine free lessons that get you started in learning the Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love, go to www.drpauldobransky.com and sign up.

I cover any variety of personal issues and general questions on this way of understanding the mind, at www.doctorpaul.net for MEN, and www.womenshappiness.com for WOMEN, with the free newsletters I send out weekly.

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Paul Dobransky

Dr. Paul Dobransky

The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love

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