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I have two teenage sons, one of whom is about to graduate from high school. He'll be leaving for college next fall and, frankly, I've started wondering how well I've prepared him to exist out in the world on his own. And how harshly the future women in his life may judge me.

The truth is that while my sons are fabulous human beings, there are a lot of things I'd hoped to teach them that they haven't quite grasped; things I wish my mother-in-law had managed to teach her son.

Like how to put dirty clothes IN the hamper, instead of on the floor in little piles right near it. How to put empty containers into the trash can, instead of back in the refrigerator or on the pantry shelf; how to load and unload the dishwasher, instead of leaving the dirty dishes in the sink; or how to replace the paper towels or toilet paper when the roll runs out.

And then there are the all-important skills of finding their belongings without immediately asking for help from the nearest female. And remembering to put the toilet seat down.  

I thought these things would be easy. They are, after all, so...basic. I figured that my mother-in-law, lovely though she is, simply hadn't tried hard enough.

But I'm running out of time and I may have to accept the fact that once the initial rosy glow has worn off there will be more than one young woman who will wonder what my sons' mother was thinking!

So this year, I've decided to forego munching chocolates and swilling champagne on Valentine's Day in order to teach my sons how to be romantic--something I'm fairly certain they won't be learning from their father.

I'm planning to start with Frivolous Gestures 101 in which I will explain why men who buy their wives and girlfriends gifts at Tiffany's have happier relationships and 85% more sex than those who shop at AutoZone.

This will be followed by a mini-course in Abject Apologizing, which I believe every male over the age of sixteen should be required to take--especially those who failed Frivolous Gestures 101.

If there's time, we'll run through a series of heartfelt-compliment flash cards for conveying things like, "I love a woman with a healthy appetite" and "Wow, you look fabulous! Have you lost weight?"    

Then we'll work on fast-thinking skills with real-life reenactments designed to prepare them for tricky questions like, ‘Do I look fat in this?" and "If you couldn't go out with me, which one of my best friends would you most want to go out with?"

Compared to remembering to pick up their clothes or put down the toilet seat, this is really important stuff. A woman may forgive a messy bathroom, but a missed romantic moment can haunt a relationship forever.

It's just a beginning, of course, and there's a lot of ground to cover. But I can't think of a better day than Valentine's Day to start teaching a male how to deal with the opposite sex and make the world a more romantic place.

Wendy Wax, Mother/Author