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Interview With a Typist

By Jack Fletcher

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"Hi Katie."

"Eeeeek! What that... who are you?"

"I'm Jack."

"Jack?"

"Jack Fletcher."

"Good God! What are you doing here?"

"The people at Penguin asked me to do a bunch of interviews for them. You're my last one, as a matter of fact."

"But...but...how did you get into my office?"

"I'm not really here, only a projection of me is. Hey, Dooley, get the recording device going, would you? Thanks. So, Katie, I understand you are a typist."

"I'm a what? Oh, you've been talking to my muse, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

"I just bet she said all sorts of things about how she does all the work, and all I do is type it up. Didn't she?"

"Well...she said you typed neatly."

"Gah! That's so like her. Swanning around all day with her hunky boy toy masseuses, and jetting out to the coast to meet with Brad Pitt, and then it's off to Rio for a party. I wash my hands of her, do you hear me? Wash my hands!"

"Wow, you're really upset. I take it you two have kind of a contentious relationship?"

"If we do, it's because she doesn't take what I do seriously. A typist! Honestly! Have you ever heard a muse refer to her author that way?"

"No, but I don't have much experience with muses. She told me that you guys started working together on non-fiction, and moved on to more fun books. Are you happy with that decision?"

"Oh, yes. I love writing romances. I'm a romantic at heart, and honestly feel that people do need a little more romance in their lives. And some laughs. Life's too short to be serious all the time."

"Gotcha. How hard is it to remember all the stuff you write about? Do you have to be really organized, or do you just kind of wing it?"

"I try to be organized and write everything down, so I don't have to go back several months later and look up someone's surname, or their physical description, but even that goes awry sometimes. Here, let me show you something...this is from a notebook I kept for your book."

"It looks like a bunch of scribbles to me."

"It's a list of the crew I made when I started writing Steamed. You'll notice that people's names got changed, and I tried to make a note of it when that happened."

"Heh. Al's name was going to be Ogilvie? Gotta remember to yank his chain over that. This sheet is interesting, but it really looks confusing."

"It can be. Hence the notes."

"So what's on the horizon for you? You've got my book just out...will there be more tales of the extremely lickable Octavia and yours truly?"

"Of course there will be. You and Octavia still have things to do, although I may let someone else tell the story of what you're up to."

"Hey! I don't know that I like that. Why would you get someone else to tell our story?"

"It all depends on what the muse gives me to work with, so if you have a complaint or request, you'll have to talk to her. Although I wouldn't recommend doing that--she has a ton of hoops you have to jump through to put in even the simplest of requests. Truly ridiculous stuff, like a hard copy, fax, and e-mail copy of the five page request document, blood samples, background checks, and of course, the payment has to clear for ten days before she'll even make an appointment for you to meet with the request official."

"Maybe I'll just leave it up to you, then. So what else do you have coming up?"

"This year is a busy one book-wise. A new dragon series is kicking off in May, and I've got a short story featuring Jim, a demon dog, in a Charlaine Harris anthology in the summer. And then in July comes an anthology with my paranormal novella featuring a character previously seen in one of my Dark Ones books, and finally, wrapping up the year is a much anticipated vampire book that concerns two characters who previously frolicked in a couple of young adult books."

"Cool. And next year?"

"That depends on the muse. Speaking of which, I need to wire her the transfer needed to get the next book outline underway. I'd better get on the phone to the Swiss bankers to authorize that before it gets too late."

"This concludes my series of interviews. Stay tuned for next month, when my guest host will be--"

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Books mentioned, for those who want titles:

Steamed (Feb. 2010)

Love in the Time of Dragons: A Novel of the Light Dragons (May 2010)

Cupid Cats Anthology (July 2010)

Death's Mysterious Vacation Anthology (August 2010)

In the Company of Vampires: A Dark Ones Novel (Nov. 2010)

Katie MacAlister, Steamed, steampunk, romance, Penguin, Signet, books