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Hello again!

Earlier in the week I told you a little about my book, I Don't Care About Your Band, which comes out this month, just in time for that dreaded holiday, Groundhog Day. I'm of course kidding! Nobody dreads Groundhog Day, except Andie MacDowell, who sometimes accidentally flips past the movie on cable and she's like, "Oh My God, I let them put me in that khaki Eddie Bauer jacket? I look awful." Well, calm down, Andie MacDowell! You did look stupid, but nobody was looking at you. They were looking at America's Valentine, Bill Murray, who remains a delight after fifty years in show business. Hey, speaking of Valentines!

Seamless.

So, yes. February brings with it bad tidings of all things St. Valentine, and Scott Valentine, who played Mallory's boyfriend Nick on Family Ties, and obviously the dreaded day itself, February 14th, ye of prix fixe dinners for two and cheap chocolate overflowing the seasonal aisle of your local pharmacy, and that distinct sensation of loneliness that only the cold, dead darkness of late winter can bring along with it. Well, ladiez: pop a squat near my soapbox, because I've got somethin' to say, Jerri Blank style.

You don't have to wait for Valentine's Day to feel bad about not having a boyfriend. You can be lonely all year round! So forget what women's magazines say about this time of year, and how it should hurt more than usual to walk past single red roses.

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Hello Penguin!

My name is Julie and I'll be your blogger for the week. Can I start you guys off with sparkling or tap?

So, a few things about me. I recently wrote a book called I Don't Care About Your Band, which comes out Tuesday. It's a memoir about my horrible dating experiences, mostly, but I also write about Night Court and Phoebe Cates and other items of tremendous cultural import.

I'm excited about the feedback I've been getting so far from people who've read advance versions of the book and liked it. And I'm particularly jazzed to get emails from guys I know who've read it and say things like; "Parts of your book were disgusting, but parts of it were really funny!" and "I usually hate this genre, but you did a pretty good job!" There's an art to the backhanded compliment, and I know enough people who could curate a whole museum. I could work at the gift shop!

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Julie Klausner is one of our guest bloggers during the week of February 1st. If you have any questions for Julie Klausner, add a comment to any of her posts. Here is some more information about I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated:

In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care About Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love--and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.

I Don't Care About Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls who grew up in the shadow of feminism, thinking they could have everything, but end up compromising constantly. The cowards, the kidults, the critics, and the contenders: these are the stars of Klausner's memoir about how hard it is to find a man--good or otherwise--when you're a cynical grown-up exiled in the dregs of Guyville.