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Desire is a familiar angel to a pre-published writer. It is at Desire's bright sword-point we sit down to write, or not at all, because who would do that to themselves if there weren't something spiky poking them? We write because we want to.
I wrote and Falling, Fly to tangle with Desire - with what it means to want and not get, with what turns desire into craving or addiction, and what takes it away. I wrote Olivia, the angel of desire, who has fallen so far from her pure state that she's completely out of touch with what she wants for herself. Even though everyone who looks at her wants her, they never actually *see* her because her appearance alters to conform to each person's ideals. Because she sustains herself on what she inspires but can't experience, she's a vampire. But because I was interested in the difference between wanting and being wanted, she can only feed on those who desire her. Because she let me wrestle with these things through her, she is an angel. Because I wanted to write, and to write and be published, Olivia knows a god who will tell her no.
With their painted-on pentagrams and plastic skulls, these vampire metal bars still mirror the introverted nature of the genuine beast. Elaborately dressed, artfully constructed presentations of personality, every one of us here eats alone. Vampires are inherently solitary creatures.
"Everyone you don't love tastes the same," I complain to my sister.




resumed the tumble, so that I don't know whether I am walking among old homesteads or holy shrines. There's no plaque or annotation, but the ruins feel domestic to me, and I stand for a while in what was once a doorway, imagining what it would be to see your man come home across such ferocious terrain, or your children playing in the detritus of so ancient and colossal a power.
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