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Are you Wanting or Willing?
Everyone wants to be great. My elite Wall Street clients, who are already great, want to be even greater. I have built up a substantial consulting practice, media presence and just released my second book 8 Ways to Great - and I now want to take my brand to the next level. I am talking about the global level on par with Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Joel Osteen and even Oprah.
What about you? What do you want? Maybe you want to be a better parent? A better spouse? A better friend? Or you want to do better in your fitness or diet? Or maybe just want to do better this time around on sticking to your new years' resolutions?
I have been thinking, struggling, and at times, sleepless and tormented with how to crack and leverage the online social network so that Dr. Doug - the Coach to the Elite - can become a household name.
My greatest critic, supporter, and wife of 10 years, sees the look in my eyes and reads my body language when we talk about what it is going to take to try to make it happen. The contacts I have to pursue, the relationships I need to explore, the tremendous effort - all while continuing to grow and maintain my peak performance consulting practices. Oh, and did I mention, I have three incredible young children whose smiles make me realize what is really important in life?
Yes, I feel lost and scared and insecure - just like you. Yes, sometimes, I say to myself, maybe I should just slow things down and enjoy the now rather than pursue this global Dr. Doug brand.
The list grows and grows each time we talk about it. And my body language says it all - it says, "Yeah, I want to build that brand and reach that goal...but am I really willing to do what it takes to make that happen?" The truth, I know, is if I am then my body language would be energized rather than flattened.
I never doubted (at least not for the past few years) as to whether I could make it happen, but I do find myself wondering if I am really willing to make the personal sacrifices that are necessary to give myself the chance to make it happen. I know first hand the kind of sacrifices there will be along the way. I see it first hand with my elite Wall Street clients, who I coach to becoming even greater at what they do. And despite the many sacrifices they make along the way they never get a second chance because time moves on, kids grow up, and seasons change.
They ask me, and I ask myself: Is it worth it Doug? Will it be worth it when you look back 30 years from now? Are you sure this is what you want from your life? And if so, are you willing to do what it is going to take to make it happen?How do you determine the different between wanting to do something and whether you are really willing to do what it will take to make it happen? Here are three things I discuss in 8 Ways to Great that I think you should consider when thinking about this
1) Fear is OK.
Openly talk about your fears, either to yourself or to a trusted resource. The more your express and identify your fears, the less of a barrier they become in your life. Remember, fear is normal and OK to feel. All that matters is that you do not make decisions based on that fear. For example, just because you are afraid of all the work that it will take to reach your goal is not the right reason to not go for it. So, identify the fears, greet them with open arms and then put them in a box so they don't get in your way.
2) Take a Process Approach
List all the things, that you need to do in order to reach that big goal. Then just pick 3, start there and do not move on until you have completed them. Then pick 3 more and keep going. By focusing on the process, you can break down larger, more intimidating goals into smaller more digestible pieces. At the end of just one week, you will have worked your way through a good number of the items on the list. This will then give you hope and energy to keep moving forward.
3) Focus more on WHY
Spend some time figuring out why you really want to achieve that goal. Most people only think about how they are going to get there or lose the weight or find the time. Instead, ask yourself WHY you want to do it and if the WHY is powerful enough to you, then you will find that the HOW takes care of itself and you will be moving from Wanting to achieve a goal to being Willing to do what you need to do to make it happen.
Go ahead and find your way to Great!
Dr. Doug
Doug Hirschhorn, 8 Ways to Great, motivational, business, Penguin, Putnam, books
