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The French Kiss, by Craig Johnson

Thu, 03/26/2009

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All right, it's true. I'm starting The Dark Horse (release date, May 28) tour in France this year with a trip to Paris and then to the literary soiree in Saint-Malo, a walled city in Brittany on the edge of the English Channel. The French edition of The Cold Dish, published by Oliver Gallmeister of Editions Gallmeister, will have its debut, and I figure this trip to Europe might be a little better than my last one.

One of the most embarrassing moments in my life actually took place in France-- Chamonix, to be exact. I was climbing a handful of mountains in Switzerland, Italy, and France on a bottle of wine and four baloney sandwiches a day. I was sitting in a sunny little café with my future wife (although we were not engaged at the time) and a climbing buddy, when I spotted a startlingly beautiful young woman walking down the sidewalk. I gave her a glance. Keep in mind I was young and single at this time. I swilled a gulp of wine and gave her another glance. She approached the table, stopped, and placed a perfectly formed elbow on the railing separating us, looked me in the eye from very close proximity, and spoke in a sultry voice, "Bonjour."

I'm not really sure what happened at that point, because my Scotch-Irish brain blew a number of breakers. Judy tells me I turned a bright shade of crimson and sputtered a few words of a language neither French nor English. The young woman, surmising that I was an idiot, stood and walked on.

I'm fortunate enough to have Judy to accompany me to France as my personal secretary, with the condition that she adopts the nom de plume, Trixie Ledoux.

We arrive in France on Memorial Day, and I figure that an international incident should rapidly ensue and we should be at war with them by June 1^st, or else I'll be divorced.

All the best,

Craig

PS: Here's the schedule of my appearances through October, so you can plan ahead. The big tour for The Dark Horse begins in France (see above) and is all of June. Forgive me if I take up all the room...

April
April 2, Belle Fourche Library, Belle Fourche, SD, 7:30PM
April 4, The Ranch at Ucross, Ucross, WY, 5:30PM
April 9, Post/Courier Author Luncheon, Charleston, SC, Noon
April 23, Western Community College, Rock Springs, WY, 7PM
April 25, UCLA/LA Times Festival of the Book, Los Angeles, CA, panel, 10:35AM
May
May 15, Blue Heron Books, Casper, WY, 6:30PM
May 16, Sheridan Stationery, Sheridan, WY, 5PM
May 25, Paris, France, information to come as to events
May 30, 31, and June 1, Etonnants Voyageurs, Saint-Malo, France
June
June 3, Murder by the Book, Houston, TX, Noon
June 3, Book People, Austin, TX, 7PM
June 4, Garden District Books, New Orleans, LA, 7PM
June 5, Once Upon a Crime, Minneapolis, MN. 7PM
June 6, Painters Row, Chicago Tribune Festival of the Book, Chicago, IL
June 7, Booked for Murder, Madison, WI, 3PM
June 8, Mystery Lovers Bookshop, Pittsburgh, PA, dinner and talk, 6PM
June 9, McNally/Jackson Bookstore, New York, NY, with Verlyn Klinkenborg, 7PM
June 10, Poisoned Pen, Scottsdale, AZ, webcast with Barbara Peters, 7PM
June 11, Murder to Die For, Thousand Oaks, CA, 2PM
June 11, The Mystery Bookstore, Los Angeles, CA, 7PM
June 12, The Tattered Cover, Denver, CO, 7:30PM
June 13, Murder by the Book, Denver, CO, 12:30PM
June 14, Barnes and Noble, Billings, MT, Noon
June 14, Fact and Fiction, Missoula, MT, 7:30PM
June 16, Eliot Bay Books, Seattle, WA, tk
June 17, Seattle Mystery Bookstore, Seattle, WA, Noon
June 17, WhoDunit Books, Olympia, WA, 7PM
June 18, Murder by the Book, Portland, OR, 6:30PM
June 19, Paulina Springs Books, Sisters, OR, 6:30PM
June 20, Paulina Springs Books, Redmond, OR, 2PM
June 20, SunRiver Books and Music, Sun River, OR, 5PM
June 22, Rediscovered Books, Boise, ID, 7PM
June 23, The Kings English, Salt Lake City, 7PM
June 25-28, Jackson Writers Conference, Jackson, WY
June 28, The Cowboy Bar and Grill, Meeteetse, WY 7PM
June 29, Powell Library, Powell, WY, Noon
June 29, The Newstand, Cody, WY, 5PM
June 29, Cody Library, Cody, WY, 7PM
July
July 1, Sheridan Stationery, Sheridan, WY, 5PM
July 16-18, Book Passage Mystery Conference, Corte Madeira, CA,
July 19, The Gene Autry Museum, Los Angeles, CA, 4PM
August
August 6, Sheridan Library, Sheridan, WY, 7PM
August 21-22, Centennial Library and Celebration, Centennial, WY
September
September 19, Wyoming Book Festival, Cheyenne, WY
October
October 1-2, Loveland Reads The Cold Dish, Loveland, CO, 7PM
October 2-4, South Dakota Book Festival, Deadwood, SD, Noon