Buck Rogers at the Little Big Horn, by Craig Johnson:

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In my attempts to keep you abreast of the latest developments in forensic history, or in the re-telling thereof, it would appear that even if George Armstrong Custer had ridden into the valley of the Little Big Horn with a million troopers, they would've still fallen to defeat at the hands of Lakota and Cheyenne warriors who had been bathed in 'an invisible ray' that rendered each of them impervious to Misters Remington and Colt.

No, really.

According to Weekly World News the self-appointed 'World's Only Reliable News', and Dr. Angela Day Brewer, these protective rays left 'mysterious ultraviolet scars' in the earth of the famed 1876 battle. "These scars can only be seen through special infrared scopes." Or if you spend a few hours up at the Parkman Bar with a couple of my Cheyenne and Crow buddies getting your beer-goggles on.

"I and my colleagues had always suspected they (the rays) were caused by alien beings. Now we know for certain that they are." says Dr. Brewer.

According to Weekly World, those darned computers have finally been able to decipher electronic data from the UFO crash site at. You guessed it, Roswell, New Mexico.

Honest.

'CIA cryptographer', Walter Frobel says, "The government doesn't want the public to know about the dead aliens. There's good solid evidence that these creatures were the same beings that recorded the events at the Little Big Horn. The data reveals the aliens made certain that there were no white survivors." No mention is made of Comanche, the Mustang/Morgan who also survived-one of only two horses buried by the U.S. Military with full honors.

Frobel elaborated by saying that the beings were from a galaxy billions of light-years away and have apparently been overseeing the development of various North American Indian tribes. Frobel goes on to say, "One passage we decoded clearly explains their reasons for getting involved in the Little Big Horn massacre. The excerpt reads, 'We know the Indian's days on planet earth are numbered because there are so many white men and they are so greedy'."

Speaking as a white man, I don't have too much of an argument with that last part, but it does make you wonder what the aliens were up to during Wounded Knee and Sand Creek.

In the interest of public knowledge and good reporting, I called up my buddy Marcus Red Thunder. His comment upon hearing that his ancestors had blown the Seventh out of their collective saddles with laser beams?

"Are you drinking again?"

Miraculously, there are no events to report on for February. I have to admit that this is a time of year I really enjoy, when I can hunker down and write. We should have the short stories, the past post-its, and the jpeg of the cover for The Dark Horse on the website in a couple of weeks. The publication date for The Dark Horse is set for May 28th , and we handed out every (and it was a lot of 'em) advanced reader copy we had to the librarians at the American Library Association meeting in Denver. Death Without Company and Kindness Goes
Unpunished were just picked up by the French publisher, who is releasing The Cold Dish in June, for publication in France in 2010 and 2011, and we got notice that Loveland, Colorado just made The Cold Dish their Loveland Loves to Read for the fall. Which means, of course, that Judy will get to go to the outlets where we bought our granddaughter Lola her first Carhartt.

Romantic, huh?

All the best, Craig

Another Man's Moccasins	Kindness Goes Unpunished	Death without Company	The Cold Dish