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Many of the parents I talk with these days are upset about the nasty, disrespectful way their kids sometimes talk to them.  "Where do they learn to talk like this?" some ask.  "We don't talk that way to them!" 

If you take a bit of time to tune into some of the popular TV shows for kids today, you will quickly see that sarcastic, disrespectful ways of talking to adults run rampant.  Cute kids like Zach and Cody on The Suite Life of Zach and Cody show viewers how to use sassy, talk-back language with parents. And even if your children don't watch shows like this, they learn how to talk this way from their friends who practice with their peers what they've seen on TV.

Recently I noticed that my 10-year old grand daughter Alexia was talking to me and other adults with a sassy, back-talk tone of voice a lot of the time.  This bothered me.  I decided I wanted to deal with it directly.  After dinner one night, when Alexia and I were cleaning up, I said to her "We can sweep the crumbs off the table this way," and in a curt and nasty, put-down voice with real attitude, she said, "I know."   I quickly said, "Alexia, I feel hurt when you talk to me in that voice.  You can just say, ‘I know' (I said this in a neutral tone of voice) and that would feel a lot better to me."