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Reviving Ophelia

Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls

Mary Pipher - Author

Paperback | $16.00 | add to cart | view cart
ISBN 9781594481888 | 304 pages | 01 Aug 2005 | Riverhead | 5.51 x 8.22in | 18 - AND UP
Summary of Reviving Ophelia Summary of Reviving Ophelia Reviews for Reviving Ophelia An Excerpt from Reviving Ophelia

"An important book... Pipher shines high-beam headlights on the world of teenage girls." -Los Angeles Times

Everybody who has survived adolescence knows what a scary, tumultuous, exciting time it is. But if we use memories of our experiences to guide our understanding of what today's girls are living through, we make a serious mistake. Our daughters are living in a new world. Reviving Ophelia is a call to arms from Dr. Mary Pipher, a psychologist who has worked with teenagers for more than a decade. She finds that in spite of the women's movement, which has empowered adult women in some ways, teenage girls today are having a harder time than ever before because of higher levels of violence and sexism. The current crises of adolescence - frequent suicide attempts, dropping out of school and running away from home, teenage pregnancies in unprecedented numbers, and an epidemic of eating disorders - are caused not so much by "dysfunctional families" or incorrect messages from parents as by our media-saturated, lookist, girl-destroying culture. Young teenagers are not developmentally equipped to meet the challenges that confront them.

Adolescence in America has traditionally involved breaking away from parents, experimenting with the trappings of adult life, and searching for autonomy and independence. Today's teenagers face serious pressures at an earlier age than that at which teenagers in the past did. The innocent act of attending an unsupervised party can lead to acquaintance rape. Having a boyfriend means dealing with sexual pressures, and often leads to pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. It's no wonder that girls' math scores plummet and depression levels rise when they reach junior high. As they encounter situations that are simply too complex for them to handle, their self-esteem crumbles. The dangers young women face today can jeopardize their futures. It is critical that we understand the circumstances and take measures to correct them. We need to make that precious age of experimentation safe for adolescent girls.

Watch the trailer for the Lifetime movie Reviving Ophelia, to premiere on October 11 at 9pm ET/PT.

EXCERPT

Reviving Ophelia is my attempt to understand my experiences in therapy with adolescent girls. Many girls come into therapy with serious, even life-threatening problems, such as anorexia or the desire to physically hurt or kill themselves. Others have problems less dangerous but still more puzzling, such as school refusal, underachievement, moodiness, or constant discord with their parents. Many are victims of sexual violence.

As I talked to these girls, I became aware of how little I really understood the world of adolescent girls today. It didn't work to use my own adolescent experience from the early 1960s to make generalizations. Girls were living in a whole new world....

Even in our small city with its mostly middle-class population, girls often experienced trauma. How could we help girls heal from that trauma? And what could we do to prevent it?

This last year I have struggled to make sense of this. Why are girls having more trouble now than my friends and I had when we were adolescents? Many of us hated our adolescent years, yet for the most part we weren't suicidal and we didn't develop eating disorders, cut ourselves, or run away from home....

But girls today are much more oppressed. They are coming of age in a more dangerous, sexualized, and media-saturated culture. They face incredible pressures to be beautiful and sophisticated, which in junior high means using chemicals and being sexual. As they navigate a more dangerous world, girls are less protected.

As I looked at the culture that girls enter as they come of age, I was struck by what a girl-poisoning culture it was. The more I looked around, the more I listened to today'smusic, watched television and movies and looked at sexist advertising, the more convinced I became that we are on the wrong path with our daughters. America today limits girls' development, truncates their wholeness, and leaves many of them traumatized....

What can we do to help them? We can strengthen girls so that they will be ready. We can encourage emotional toughness and self-protection. We can support and guide them. But most important, we can change our culture. We can work together to build a culture that is less complicated and more nurturing, less violent and sexualized and more growth-producing. Our daughters deserve a society in which all their gifts can be developed and appreciated. I hope this book fosters a debate on how we can build that society for them.

Preface ..... 11
Chapter 1: Saplings in the Storm ..... 17
Chapter 2: Theoretical Issues - For Your Own Good ..... 29
Chapter 3: Developmental Issues - "I'm Not Waving, I'm Drowning" ..... 45
Chapter 4: Families - The Root Systems ..... 74
Chapter 5: Mothers ..... 101
Chapter 6: Fathers ..... 115
Chapter 7: Divorce ..... 131
Chapter 8: Within the Hurricane - Depression ..... 146
Chapter 9: Worshiping the Gods of Thinness ..... 166
Chapter 10: Drugs and Alcohol - If Ophelia Were Alive Today ..... 186
Chapter 11: Sex and Violence ..... 203
Chapter 12: Then and Now ..... 232
Chapter 13: What I've Learned from Listening ..... 248
Chapter 14: Let a Thousand Flowers Bloom ..... 260
Chapter 15: A Fence at the Top of the Hill ..... 282
Recommended Reading ..... 295
Index ..... 297

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