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White House Nannies |
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| Book: Paperback | 8.26 x 5.23in | 256 pages | ISBN 9781585424979 | 04 May 2006 | Tarcher | Adult |
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As president of Washington's premier nanny placement agency, White House Nannies, Inc., Barbara Kline has spent the last twenty years handpicking and delivering nannies to elected officials, cabinet members, advisers to the President, and the media who report on their every move. In this hilarious account of her life in child care, Kline discloses the mayhem that ensues when these powerful parents find themselves at the mercy of tiny tyrants-and the nannies who offer their only hope of salvation. Offering "an especially insightful insider's perspective," (White House Nannies) also "addresses more serious questions, from what nannies really think of their employers and their young charges to the tricks of hiring a great caregiver for your family" (Child magazine).
In this "very funny, very insightful, and very well-done" (Kirkus Reviews) memoir, Kline casts a keen eye on one of the most complicated of relationships under the sun: that between extremely busy people and their nannies. Following the major events that launch powerful D.C. parents into parenthood (discovering they're pregnant; hiring a fabulous nanny; giving birth; hiring a second nanny in a pinch when the first one is nannynapped), this book goes behind closed doors in our nation's capital to reveal the laughter-and of course, the tears-involved when overworked professionals attempt to raise a child.
Besides administering love and care to children, nannies are also known for dishing the dirt on the families who employ them—the more eminent the family, the better. In Washington D.C., a location often coined with the terms deceit and scandal, exists the premier nanny—placement agency, White House Nannies, Inc. President Barbara Kline takes us inside the private lives of elected officials, Cabinet members, and advisors to the president in her book White House Nannies. As a woman who runs a nanny employment agency—a matchmaker of sorts—Kline isn't afraid to share the inside scoop from both sides in this written expose. Her are some "parent categories" she's devised over the years:
- The Slave Driver
The Slave Driver uses the words "flexible hours." This is a bright-red-flag term. It means: "Our help is expected to work whenever and however long we want them." Paying overtime is not in the Slave Driver's vocabulary. Why do so many Washingtonians forget the law about a forty-hour work week?
- The Analytically Inclined
"Children need a lot of emotional space to express themselves, and we expect our nanny to be comfortable with all their moods and forms of self-expression. Tiffany doesn't always like to wear clothes, so as long as she eats a balanced meal, we let her come to the table naked."
- The Hyper-Vigilant
"Never disarm the security system, even when you're home, and check all cabinet and toilet latches as well as safety gates at all times. Our children must not talk to strangers. Do not give our personal phone numbers out to anyone, and clear all personal visitors to the grounds or in the house with us first. Do not sort our mail or touch our trash. Most important, even if others think you're being paranoid, let us know immediately if you sense anything at all wrong with Richard of Jennie. Call us or the doctor for even minor symptoms. We'd rather you overreact than put them in harm's way. Don't forget the #62 sunscreen!"
- The Harvard-Obsessed
"Every moment of the day is a learning opportunity, from the classical music on the radio to singing to our son in your native language, or teaching him to play the piano. Make use of our educational games and flash cards. Georgie helps us count out change in stores and measure ingredients for brownies. Please read, read, read him the intellectually challenging literature we supply, and converse with him as much as possible to improve his communication skills. Television is limited to PBS channels 22 and 26, not to exceed a half hour daily. Don't let our youngest son watch any television. Only baby Einstein tapes."
- The Discipline-Phobic
"Emily has a great deal of energy and needs to run free. She's in a daredevil phase and experiments with risky behavior, so watch carefully when she walks on the table or the kitchen counters. Please gently stop her if she bites you or others, and make sure she doesn't play too vigorously with her baby sister, or put marbles in her mouth. Explain to Emily why her behavior isn't working and ask her to try harder at cooperating. We don't believe in punishment or time-outs. We never, ever use the word no."
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