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Why Manners Matter |
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| eBook: Adobe reader | 8.26 x 5.23in | 192 pages | ISBN 9781101025864 | 05 Mar 2009 | Putnam Adult |
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In the spirit of On Bullshit, a wonderfully erudite and entertaining essay about manners.
When Lucinda Holdforth told her mother she was writing an essay about manners, her mother said, “You’re writing a book about manners?” Deeply offended, Lucinda called her best friend and relayed what her mother had said. Her best friend paused before saying, “Well, you do say “f***” a lot.”
Welcome to the interesting quagmire Lucinda Holdforth finds herself in. She believes that manners are essential to civilization. Yet according to the knife-and-fork snobs, or exclusive bores, her modern-day attitude might not scream manners. And in this age of global warming and warfare, aren’t manners frivolous? Do manners really matter? Yes! she passionately exclaims. Citing everyone from Tocqueville to Proust to Borat, Holdforth shows how manners—which many of us might think are inconsequential—are actually the cornerstone of civilization. Incredibly smart, the book illustrates how the philosophies of the greatest thinkers are relevant to our very modern lives.
I admit to an affinity for books on civility, perhaps because I myself once wrote one. Lucinda Holdforth’s delightful book is the best I have seen on this subject in many years. She sets herself the Herculean task of arguing for manners in a world that deems them unimportant. She is equally at ease with Rousseau and Rosa Parks, with the Bloomsbury Group and the Bible, with 19th- century etiquette books and 2-st century Hollywood. (She also makes reference to Castiglione’s 16th-century Book of the Courtier, among my favorites in my own college days.) Rejecting the cant that good manners are some sort of right- wing conspiracy, Holdforth persuasively links good manners not only to good character but to the stability and the progress of the society itself. Not to pay attention to a book this thoughtful might even be considered unmannerly.
— Stephen L. Carter
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