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Red Carpet Suicide |
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| Book: Hardcover | 9.25 x 6.25in | 256 pages | ISBN 9780451225214 | 06 Jan 2009 | Celebra | 18 - AND UP |
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Self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media” Perez Hilton makes his publishing debut with a hysterical pop-cultural satire about today’s insane celebrity-driven world.
Perez Hilton—founder of PerezHilton.com, the country’s most popular celebrity blog, and “one of the most polarizing media figures since Howard Stern” (L.A. Weekly)—cuts loose with a book that’ll secure his reputation as “the most hated man in Hollywood” (Rolling Stone).
Psycho celebrities dominate news, fashion, and trends, influencing how we speak, what we wear, and who we hang out with. We’re obsessed! Our gossip-driven world has set the barometer of what’s in or out. So, who are we trying to become and how do we become them? Post a grainy sex video online, drive high and wasted against oncoming traffic, flash for the cameras, and if that doesn’t work, attempt suicide and you’re bound to become a “Hilton.”
Now the man behind Hollywood’s most hated website—infamous for breaking raw superstar dish and jaw-dropping commentary—lends his fearless voice, notorious sense of humor, and outrageous sensibility to Red Carpet Suicide, the book celebrities have been looking forward to as much as their next DUI. Making sense of the madness and celebrity addiction that consumes us, Perez twists this irresistible and delicious guilty pleasure into a hysterically funny, shockingly true, and generation-defining survival guide.
How to Wreck a Home
by Perez Hilton
If you steal a mate, do it right! Angelina Jolie appears to be a real-life home wrecker. She’s a total beyotch who has a thing for married men, and I still love her. We all still love her. We probably love her more now than before, even though she and Brad were allegedly having an affair during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She pulled it off in true hilton style. On the other hand, Claire Danes wrecked both a home and her reputation. She started going out with Billy Crudup while he was with Mary-Louise Parker, who was seven months pregnant, and I instantly started hating her. Claire got hers—they broke up soon after, and what has happened to her life and career since?
Obviously, it helped in Angelina’s case that Jennifer Maniston wasn’t pregnant. It also helped that Angelina had recently adopted a child from a third-world country. So if you’re going to steal someone’s man, you’d better be the hottest woman on the planet, and you’d better save the world and all its children while you’re doing it.
Britney Spears snatched Kevin Federline from a pregnant Shar Jackson and married him in September 2004. Jackson says the truth came out only after he flew abroad for a commercial—which became an extended trip with Spears. For some reason, Shar doesn’t get the sympathy I would expect. People should like her more; it's not her fault she got screwed over by Britney. But you know what? Look what happened to both Britney and K-Fed since then. Karma can be a real bitch.
Julia Roberts snatched Danny Moder from his wife, and she married him just two months after he got the divorce! Of course, she got her little twins out of the whole deal, so you can't hate her too much. I don't know what Danny's ex-wife looks like, but how can you compete with Julia Roberts? Julia sweearrss Danny's marriage to his ex was already over when she got involved with him. Okay, well, that settles it!
In May of 2007, Criss Angel and Cameron Diaz spent a random few weeks together. Unfortunately, Criss Angel had an estranged "secret" wife, Joanne Sarantakos. Joanna claimed in court that a romance between the Mindfreak and Cameron occurred during their five-year marriage/fifteen-year relationship. "We're naming Cameron Diaz as his lover," attorney Dominic Barbara said on behalf of Sarantakos. Diaz's rep issued a statement that stated she and Angel first met more than a year after he split with his wife, and went on four dates, and had no current relationship. This guy is star fucking the whole way. It was smart for his career he did it again later with Britney Spears. Getting with Cameron Diaz really put this guy on the map. After that, he was able to leverage a $75 million Cirque du Soleil deal at Luxor in Las Vegas.
Jude Law cheated on fiancée Sienna Miller with his nanny, Daisy Wright. After Law proposed on Christmas 2004, Sienna told reporters, "I'm the happiest girl alive." But in reality, they were off and on after the infidelity, and they split for good in November 2006. The weird thing, the scandal was the best thing to happen to Sienna. Instead of being Jude Law's girlfriend, she became Jude Law's ex, Sienna Miller, whom he cheated on. It took her up a notch. Next thing you know she's spotted with Orlando Bloom frolicking around the enchanted wood.
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